Wednesday, January 20, 2016

STOP the Chatter... BE STILL

Floss every day. More water less coffee. Intensify daily workouts. Read and journal more. Color often... These were just a few of my goals for 2016, and I must admit that I have already missed a day or two of flossing and have drank a lot of coffee on these recent chilly days... BUT also and more importantly this year, I desire a heart that is humble and ready to hear God's voice above all others. Every day is FULL of different emotions - highs and lows, and Disney’s “Inside  Out” perfectly illustrates characters to the “little voices” inside our head and shows us how our emotions on the inside effect our actions on the outside. In the movie, Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, and Fear battle it out in a little girl’s head for control. In the end, they learned that they must work together at times in order for each to exist. I could perfectly relate to the craziness going on in Riley's head... especially during this season of life. One thing I noticed is that there was a “little voice” missing… LOVE! BUT, quickly I realized love is not a feeling or an emotion, love is an action - a result of our emotions. Love is a decision, a choice, an attitude. Although our culture commercializes love and portrays it to be something physical, fleeting, and self-serving, we as children of God have experienced and should know true, genuine love is to be sacrificial, selfless and result in an attitude of surrender and service.

Faith is all about love. The love we have received from our Father, and the love we share with others. BUT, I know for me, sometimes those "little voices" in my head completely take over leaving me in a place of self-pity, frustration, doubt, jealousy and the list can go on and on. It is there when it is difficult and almost impossible for me to choose JOY, act in LOVE and truly THRIVE as a child of God. Steven Furtick, author and pastor of Elevation Church, refers to these "little voices" as the Chatterbox. A dear friend of mine who encourages me in my faith and is patient with me while "outwardly processing" the million and one things going on in this head and heart, highly recommended that I read Furtick's book, Crash the Chatterbox. And.... it has been kicking my booty for the past month. It has been exactly what this girl has needed to "process" the day to day and events of the past month or so while bringing every thought captive and being reminded and completely overwhelmed by the truths of God's Word. 
A few weeks ago, we received an email from our adoption agency telling us the good news that our dossier had passed through legalization! We knew that the next step would be a long waiting period, but didn't really realize exactly HOW long. It seems the time-frame for this step in the process is longer than we anticipated. We are so grateful to be at this stage of the process, and here we are, 1 year down... YET... that doesn't make the waiting any easier really. It is literally a moment by moment season that we are in knowing that God is working in our waiting while working all things for our good and His glory. 

Crash the Chatterbox has allowed me to honestly wrestle with thoughts and emotions that I have never really allowed myself to struggle with. I have learned and am still learning how to daily battle and ultimately crash the chatterbox by simply being still. Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." 
"My joy is not determined by what happens to me, but what Christ is doing in me and through me."

In the book, Furtick refers to to an essay titled "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley. What an incredible perspective it offers regardless of what season or situation your are currently facing. Kingsley writes, "I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland."

"Don't let what you expected keep you from what God wants you to experience."
God has taught Jared and I so much about Him and His heart on this journey as He chooses to continue to reveal Himself to us even in our sad, pitiful attempt to pursue Him. He is sovereign, and His plan is perfect. Whatever journey you are on, be confident in who God is and how much He loves you. He is always good. He is always right. He is always faithful, and He is our Father. You are chosen. You are loved. Don't listen to those "little voices" in your head. CRASH the Chatterbox with the truth of God's Word and let the Holy Spirit fight for you. Friends, SILENCE that Chatterbox with STILLNESS.

Worship in Waiting:

1 comment:

  1. This was a very touching read. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and the struggle of the day-to-day wait that is truly the faith walk which we are all called to.