The past few months have definitely resulted in many lessons learned and lots of questions with little to no answers as our little family has experienced many highs and lows, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially... as does everyone, everyday. Our days are filled with the unexpected. Each moment, unknown to us, but perfectly known by our Father. Some days I wake up, ready the day. Then some days, not wanting to leave my bed, fearful of what the day may hold and the harsh realities faced each day in our world. However, it is those days when I am most desperate for the truth spoken from God's Word. As I glance over at my Bible that I have had for the past 15 years, missing its cover, pages held in place by paper clips, the entire book held together in multiple pieces in an old-school Bible cover, I am reminded of just HOW desperate I am for this Book as the Holy Spirit makes it come alive and speak power and peace into my heavy heart. Friends, my worn out Bible does not represent anything other than a hot mess of a girl that simply can not face the day without it. Some days, even just a word or two from its pages will completely silence those little voices fighting for control in my head and heart. Other days, I read and read, before stopping, allowing stillness, welcoming silence, and waiting for the Holy Spirit to speak. Recently, it has been so many of the verses that I memorized as a child that God has allowed me to hear with new ears as if hearing them for the very first time, coming in and what has felt like completely destroying everything I once thought made me who I am. But these "demo days" are now being RESTORED by the Creator and Sustainer of my heart.
Since that night, I have not only learned to embrace and celebrate this season of restoration, but have also asked God to open my eyes to the possible "demo" going on in other's lives as well. Everyone experiences seasons of struggle, grief, loss, hurt, disappointment. And instead, of comparing, competing, and criticizing, why not be a part of the restoration by speaking life and giving hope? Be the answer to their prayer. The words of Psalm 23, verses I memorized as a kid, have not only left me with a new sense of surrender to my God and His purpose for my journey, but also a new mission in how I love and serve.
"Although David might have written Psalm 23 from an experience of questioning, wanting, or worrying, he recognized the Lord as his shepherd. Just as David would have always had the best interests of his sheep in mind, he trusted God in this same way. Then he expressed his understanding of God's purpose for his waiting period when he wrote, "He makes me lie down in green pastures (REST), he leads me beside quiet waters (REFLECTION), he restores my soul (RESTORATION). He guides me in paths of righteousness (RIGHT CHOICES) for his name's sake (It is all about God, not about David)" Psalm 23:2-3. David chose to resist the temptation of discontentment by seeing the greater good of this waiting period. Rest, Reflection, Restoration, learning to make Right Choices, and remembering it is all about God and not me are all positive ways to spend any nervous energy that might come my way during my own next waiting period." (Lysa Terkeurst from Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl)
Not only did that night at the Orpheum show me the true beauty of restoration, but now... I can not watch anything on HGTV without basically, well... worshipping the One who Restores. Renovates. Reconstructs. Rebuilds. Recovers. Renews. Revives. Rescues. Redeems. Embrace and celebrate your "Demo Day", friend.
Adoption Update: 1 year and 8 months in. Things are happening, and we are confident that our God is working in our waiting. Your prayers are most appreciated. Please pray for the following as we desire nothing more than for God to be glorified through this journey:
- Matching process would speed up
- God's provision
- Our preparation for parenting
- Our child's spiritual, physical, and emotional health
- Safe travels to and from Haiti and for the welfare of our friends and family back home
while we are away
- For those providing care to our child until he is brought home
- The people of Lifeline as they guide us through this process
Worship in Waiting:
"I Shall Not Want" Audrey Assad
"Good to Me" Audrey Assad